Mixed Emotions : 25Years!!

We all hate growing old, yet we celebrate our birthdays!!

I realised this fact on completing 25 years of my life.

But there was something different this year, the rush and excitement for “My Day” was reduced.

It’s not that I was not happy, but all I could do was smile at midnight and said to myself, “Here you go girl, happy 25th!”

Somewhere I felt that distributing chocolates during school days and going out for dinner with family gave more joy to my soul rather than partying with my friends at some bar.

Things “were” different and things “are” different, still the journey continues.

And in between all this chaos, I felt Life’s got to give us some good apples along with the rotten ones, right, maybe for balance?

For the first time, I was not bothered about my social media posts or how many wishes did I receive?

For the first time, I didn’t go for my birthday shopping.

And also, for the first time, I felt little more responsible for my life and I tried setting up a goal.

It’s not like I didn’t enjoy, but this year I did what made me happy and away from the thought that “what would others think?”

Few might tag it as a “boring birthday” or with some other fancy phrase.

And I would say, they have all the rights to put across their opinions.

All I know is it won’t affect me.

Yes, it might be a bold statement but to be honest , end of the day it’s my day and I have all rights to celebrate it .

So, here I go, 25 years old, who is trying to set a plan to lead my life and be determined about it.

Another ordinary girl who is trying to live a carefree, bold and beautiful life on her own terms and conditions.

Yes, 25th year do contains mixed emotions!!

Still can’t decide to be extremely happy or should stay focused and bit more mature!!

All I could say for now is , “Happy birthday To Me!!”

Here’s to better Me,

Here’s to Happy Me,

And of course, here’s to Bold & Beautiful Me!!


So What?

So what if she travels solo,
Maybe the society should break the stereotype mentality and let her grow.

So what if she chooses the single life,
She pays her own bills and does not want to be someone’s wife.

So what if she has lost her virginity before getting married,
If you have any problem, maybe your soul should be buried.

So what if she hates the colour pink,
Her choices don’t affect your life. Stop and Think.

So what if she can’t cook,
Her life is amazing the way it is, take a closer look.

So what if she likes partying,
Freaks who judge her character should change the way they think.

So what if she chooses not to wear lipstick,
Amongst her many wonderful traits, is that what you’re seriously going to pick?

So what if she has more guy friends,
I don’t understand, why declaring her a slut has become a trend?

So what if she is a little extra on the girth,
Her waist size has got nothing to do with her worth.

So what if she has achieved promotion before you,
Learn to respect her hardwork instead of spreading nasty rumours without any reality clue.

So what if her dress is short or shows some skin,
Let’s not point fingers and first search, within.

In today’s world, she is not asking for a competition, about who is better,
Treat her like a companion with respect, that’s the only thing which matters.

Be You !

Ever Wondered, WHY?

Time is a strange thing,
When you’re waiting for something good to happen,
It can feel like time is dragging on.
But when you want it to slow down,
It goes by in the blink of an eye.
The odd part is time isn’t real.
It’s a concept imagined by scientists,
Based on the imperfect movement of the earth around the sun.
So why do we put so much importance on something that’s just a theory?
Because it’s all we have!
There’s never enough time.
We are always busy with work, life, family and fear of death.
Something always cuts our time short.
So our best bet is to make the most of the time we have.
Make up for lost time.
But sometimes If we’re really lucky,
Time stands still.
Hence, Rustedleaveswriter suggests, ignore the tic tock of a clock and live each moment happily and wisely.

Rusted Leaves Writer 🙂


At times you’re misunderstood ,

And it ends everything!

She want to leave, she wants to stay,
Confused and struggling to find a way.

She is happy, she is sad,
Wondering if current phase of her life is good or bad.

She is frustrated, she is cranky,
At times she acts ok, otherwise she gets angry.

She is loved, she is hated,
But her life has become complicated.

She is adamant, she is unsure,
Hoping to get a permanent cure.

She thought she was in love, she realised she is still in love,
But the great silence is maintained all above .

She loves few, she hates many,
she gets confused and scary.

She is stuck with memories,
She needs to move on from old stories.

She has become a mess,
With a shattered heart and soul which needs rest.

She laughs in a group,
Alone she cries in a loop.

She has become a dreamer,
But there was a time when she was a achiever.

She is considered as jolly, she is considered as fake,
All she can do is stay focused and wait.

She is strong, she is broken,
She decided to leave few things left unspoken.

She is appreciated, she is cursed,
She tries to bend her thoughts and merge.

Maybe she needs time to heal,
As she has lot of things on her plate to deal.

For few she was a depressed soul,
And for others she was a girl who fights for things which are out of her control.

Few thought she betrayed them,
And they acted like they don’t give a damn.

Finally she was tired giving explanation to all,
Because she knew she cannot overcome this fall.

Her trust was broken,
She received life lessons as token.

So there she is,
At times happy,
At times cranky,
Searching for broken pieces.
Because she is tired of circumstances and twist of Mr.Fate in her life.

Thus, she decided to try to be HERSELF and think of HERSELF.

Something Just Like This..(Contd…)

I pick up my pen again,
Trying to forget all the pain.

Admiring the nature beauty,
Cheers to pain and to tragedies that dances through me.

Travelling across to change mindset,
Wondering about the people I met.

Trip with thoughts and soul,
Trippy songs and crossing Toll.

Living each day with shattered mind,
Waiting for heart and soul to bind.

Climbing up the hill top to enjoy the serene view,
Struggling to stop thinking about few.

Desires left me heartbroken,
Wishes were left unspoken.

Standing alone in the chilly weather,
Eating Maggie and thinking what’s needs to be done further.

Such kind of journey might sound lonely,
But at times you can enjoy your company only.

Here’s to the empty roads,Lonely journey with a soul to explode

Here’s to the beautiful rain,
Time to move on from hidden pain.

Here’s to the long drive, Wondering why these memories are still alive.

Sitting with a cup of tea on a cliff,
Singing song something just like this!

Let It Go!

And sometimes,
What we want is exactly what we need.
But, sometimes….
What we need is a new plan.

Never thought, Finding a new plan will be so Tough…..!!

Having cup of tea alone at serene rooftop,
Tears rolled down her cheeks drop by drop.

There were no reasons to be defined,
Stuck between decisions followed by heart and mind.

Upset about so many things,
Scared to know what Mr.Fate might bring.

Trying hard each day to cheer up,
Maybe the wounds are deeply stuck.

Bruised, Broken and shattered is how she felt,
Still wondering why she let her heart melt?

With each sip of her tea,
She wished all kind of thoughts should be free.

She didn’t feel like discussing with anyone,
Maybe because she was so tired and done.

With the last sip of her tea, she decided to wipe her tears,
Whispers of her thoughts screaming in her mind she could still hear.

Maybe this time she should allow life to go with a flow,
And there are few things which she had to let it go.


Beautifully written, “She felt feeling nothing”

You’re waiting aren’t you,
You’re always waiting for a sign
Something that’ll help you believe
In him and all of his lies.

You’re in denial about the truth
Never questioning his excuse
Say you think highly of yourself
But you still entertain his mental abuse.

What happened to your soul
I see bruises and the scars
He never deserved to touch your canvas
How’d you forget that you are an art.

I know it fucking hurts
But I will just say this because it’s true
Any man who hurts your heart
Is incapable of falling for you.

And I know somewhere you agree
This is the hardest lesson learned
Thought it was cool to play with fire
But no one warned you that it’d burn.

Now all the promises were broken
You cut yourself on shards of lies
Smiling in every selfie
But inside you scream and cry.

Now what has a heart to do
When it aches black and blue
You put trust in his hands
But now his hands are harming you.

There is love, I hope you find it
It lives within, I hope you find it
That text says, “Baby you look awesome” or “I understand you”
But I hope you know he’s lying.

Think of me a friend
Or a stranger who gives a fuck
I just wish to see you grow
I’m tired of seeing you stuck.

You need to believe that everything he confessed as “Truth” was a lie.


She will find a way…!

So love happened again,
Out of blue.
A new chapter begin,
This time it was true.
No games involved,
Except the love itself.
She was now a mystery solved,
Magically she found herself.
This was the best thing,
Ever happened to her.
Unless life cut her wings,
And everything becomes blur.
This time god stepped in,
The one she thought gave her the happiness.
But didn’t know, will become a sin.
Still wondering about her luck in matter of love,
Well, to fall once again , she doesn’t have any guts.
She was the victim , she was the criminal,
She wished she would have fallen for someone who was little bit of original.
Her friends ping her to know how she feel,
Typing “wssp” and expect her to reveal.
She was tired of becoming strong and keeping her ego high,
She realized that their bond is over without a goodbye.
She screamed in mute in pain,
Pillow soaked all her rain.
Finally dead soul melting on bed,Hurt heart beating in pray,
She woke up smiling, promising she will find a way.

How they met?

At times you don’t know if it’s an end to something or beginning of other,

Still you choose to forgive yourself and continue the journey.

Because even if you have tons of haters, you choose to continue for few who loves you.

Don’t know if she was happy or sad,
Few things were good, rest was bad.

She herself was confused with her smile,
Wondering if it’s real or fake across several miles.

She loved one and was judgemtal about many ,
Wondering if her presence troubles any.

The so called “Love” whom she liked, thought she is fake,
While others were talking about her sadist story as cherry on cake.

Few days ago she was in guilt, thinking she did something wrong,
Well, the bitter truth broke her heart but she acted strong.

She realised that loved one lied on her face,
And unfortunately she did few confessions of hers with grace .

She is not sure if she has any regrets about her confessions,
She felt like a fool who believed his words and continued her life session.

She felt betrayed and lost,
Turning into an introvert was the cost.

Slowly she was turning into an isolated girl,
Who was messed up by her own decisions made in this life’s curl.

This was one of the rare scenarios when she thought, “mom & dad were right”,
And that day a talkative girl became quite.

She couldn’t accept the fact, that her choice was wrong,
She felt like she has become like a cold hearted bitch now and maybe for lifelong.

If she recall the situations, she was able to join the dots,
She realised how stupid she was to trust his words without any “Why’s and what”.

Somewhere she knew the truth but she choosed to believe him,
Maybe that decision of hers dragged her life to sink.

As its said , “Love is blind” , she gave him benefit of doubt,
Thinking there can be a reason why he never spoke truth out .

But then it was depressing when she realized he didn’t care ,
And she felt that fools like her who let their self respect chucked are rare.

It was high time for her to take practical decisions,
As anyways she was a “Bitch” in his vision.

With a broken heart and a strong mindset,
She decided to forget “How they met”.

And maybe this time , don’t worry about past or future,

Try to go with the flow.