Am I Fine?

Those joyful days,

Birthday plan in month of May.

Those stress-free weeks,

Where fun was the priority at any peak.

All these last for a while and life throws battles on us,

It tries to test our strength and trust.

You never know what Mr. Fate has planned for you,

Things might make you happy or break you.

You won’t be able to face crowd,

You may wonder what is it all about.

The only company you would like to prefer will be of “yours”,

Youmight get scared to explore.

Thepast might kill your heart,

Well, you may imagine your dreams getting apart.

You won’t be able to blame anyone,

Inorder to escape from present, you cannot even run.

And then you sit and think how happy you were once upon a time,

Seeing yourself right now, you may question yourself, “Am I fine?”.

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Heart Talk–Fake !

At some point of time, you may be banged up, mentally and emotionally.Literally and metaphorically.But every day you need to walk outside with a smile on your face because that is who you are.

Maybe you’ll feel sorry for all bullshit life gave you.You maybe annoyed at yourself.But you cannot allow few stories to get revealed on your face.And if others think, you’re fake .Then it’s okay. They only know the story which you want to show.So make sure you are making choices which is good for you.

People may think you’ve changed.So let them think. Because no matter how hard you try, someone, somewhere is gonna be unhappy and trust me you cannot do anything.You need to understand and believe that you are not heartless, maybe you have become emotionally conservative. And if that makes world think that you have changed then you cannot do anything.

Sometimes , you go through something and it hurts and you don’t know if things are ever going to be okay again. But then days go by and you learn how to handle yourself and the mess which you created on first place. It might be hard to believe, but the sooner you accept , you’ll be able to move on.
You think maybe you’re ignoring your emotions and they’ll come back out of no where. Until you realise that you’ve learned to keep things among yourselves. You learn how to keep yourselves away from those haunting thoughts. Maybe few things didn’t break you rather they made you more mature and kind of a strong person.
And if still people think that you’ve changed or you’re rude or worst case you have mastered in ignoring them, then Maybe it’s not your fault.
Let the circumstances play it’s role because even if you want to change mindset of those who think you’re fake, you may end up hurting yourself all over again.

So , at times it’s okay to be fake and selfish.

Heart Talk–Tantrums!

You may not be able to control every situation and it’s outcome but you can control your attitude and how you deal with it. In your life you may walk across conditions whose consequences can be bad or worst.But all you can do is , stay there and watch.

There will be a time when the reality will hit you hard. Realities like, your parents are the only one to handle all your tantrums. I know it might hurt you. But that’s actually true.You may find hard to survive in this world. You may think , “How cruel this world is?” You may feel ,”Sorry for yourself.”But here is the bitter truth. You are way too selfish to think all these because these things starts bothering you when you’re the one suffering.

Well, that’s human nature. And in order to show world you may act weak or strong depending on your needs.But you’ll reach to a point, when you  will be okay with everything happening in others life. And the reason behind is, maybe you’re so much lost in your life that deep inside you don’t care what’s happening around you.

You may act as as strong, funny, carefree person but ,every day , before you sleep , some kind of thoughts keep haunting your brain.You may have regrets carrying within yourself.Maybe those regrets are worth. Maybe you shouldn’t have ever crossed line from your side in anyway. You must have broke at some particular time when you should have actually acted strong and bold. And there you go. That moment is still rolling over your head. 

You may get confused that whose side you’re. There will be people at each stage of your life trying to influence you. And when you think that “It’s very easy to brain wash your thoughts.” Well, I feel that’s the fakest reason one can give to console themselves.
There will be time people will talk about you behind your back. Few may think you’re overdramatic and make fuss about everything. Maybe you don’t create scenes intentionally. But trust me, no one will believe that. Few may also think you’re two sided. They may call you fake. But in the end , you’re the one who knows yourself. The real you.You cannot be happy everytime. Right from the day you’re born. You’re as greedy as everyone on this earth. 

Things might go wrong with your friends. Things might become worst at your workplace. You may feel like you’re stuck somewhere as you do not have any choice.Then, you need to make choices smartly. You need to stay there with full confidence. You need to handle all the tantrums thrown at you. You need to keep going with all appreciations as well as ignorance. Everyone cannot love you. Everytime you cannot take someone for granted.

It’s the rule of life and you can never play it in your way. You can either live with regrets , feeling sorry about yourself or maybe you can act strong hiding all your scars and emotions behind and focus on things which are more important.

Thus, RustedLeavesWriter says, Keep Going!Keep Loving !

Heart Talk–Being Yourself!

We all have opinions about each one of us. We  do all possible gossiping about people around us and name it as “Sharing opinions”.

But as we are inching towards the end of 2017, I felt at times it’s good to isolate yourself. It’s good to take tough decision which might make situations easy for you.

There were times people got  scared by seeing how complete and happy I was in my own company. We think that it’s necessary to follow the rules set by people around us. We change our attitude to match there likes and dislikes.And we simply follow the crowd.

Trust me! It’s absolutely okay to comment when you look at cheesy couples. Mostly you simultaneously have two reactions: 90% of you get irritated seeing their cutie cute love story and the other 10% wonders how can any couple involve so much cheesiness in their life.
Well, in this world of match making where everyone is busy pairing each other. I feel it’s completely okay to say NO to someone with whom you’re not willing to ‘settle’ if they don’t deserve you. You’re somebody who is giving yourself time to figure out who the ‘I’ in the mirror is, before you can move to the complication of figuring out a ‘we’. 
Maybe you don’t want to attach strings right now, or maybe you’ve just cut them. Either way, it’s you now. It’s time for you to work on the greatest love story in the world: the one you have with yourself. To figure out what you love instead of who you love. To not share your pizza, fries, or chocolate. To not wait for anyone before watching the season finale. To take your book out on a date to a coffee house. To buy yourself that gorgeous pair of shoes.
There can be situations when you tend to take wrong decision because you were confused. You will be regretting for that one decision that you took. But in the end of all your thoughts, tears, time and regret, you will realize that you cannot undo it. You have to handle the situation further based on that one decision. And one day you will reach towards a point when you’ll be okay with everything. You will stop cribbing about little issues.Maybe you’ll learn to be neutral and give yourself little bit of time.

And yes, inspite of sharing your opinions about others, you know they will never change. Maybe they are wrong for you but that doesn’t mean they’re wrong for everyone.The way you hate someone, similarly you must be hated by others.And i can bet , you cannot do anything about it.(Personalexperience)At times you’ll realize that few people speak to you sweetly or are in your favor just because they don’t want to make you feel bad.Well, that doesn’t means you’re important to them. Maybe they do it out of courtesy or out of any guilt.

So , you need to know what’s more important to you in your life rather than wasting time thinking, “Are you important to someone or not?”And the day you’ll stop peeping into other’s life and start thinking about yours, maybe you won’t have any more regrets for yourself.

The entire world is yours to conquer- and when you wake up in the morning with a smile on your face, singing a duet in the shower by yourself- something tells me you do conquer it. With tiny but firm steps, each day.Beginnings can be tough for you to forget certain things but you have to be strong enough to ignore them.Because each day counts.

So RustedLeavesWriter says, “Be yourself and embrace yourself for your own good instead of charming others.”

Happy 2018 πŸ™‚

Heart Talk–TinyTales

#Smudge

Between all the laughter and fun,

She smiled at the party.
But her smudged kajal told a different story.

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#Call 

They both stayed under one roof,
Still from another city , she had to call seperately on any occasion.
And all of sudden, she started wondering why she had to call “Her Parents” twice .

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#Alive

As a writer, they write the words.
The paper feels the words.
But, the reader makes the word come alive.

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#E-mail

Be a such kind of person, that if someone blocks you from all the social media applications, you drop an “E-MAIL” to retain your bond.

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#Simple

We meet many people in our life,
But few are simple like Quantum Physics.
Irony plays a major role.

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#Coffee

Infinite cups of coffee to stay awake so that she can complete her work was merely an excuse she gave.
There were spaces left to be filled in the story.

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#Page

And he said, “so we are on same page.”
“Page? We are not even in same book,” She thought.
And reality was, they were not even in same library.

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#Answers

After thinking so much,
It was decided to ignore many truths, many unanswered questions.
Because it’s okay not to know all the answers.

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#Years

Years ago they broke with wrong person,
And today they’re with right ones.

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Heart Talk–Experience !

When you try to sum up all that you felt this year.

Maybe your heart was aching and you were falling down.

Fall and rise, was the mantra you were following. So much has happened in this year. This year held most of the happiest and saddest experience you must have ever had in your life.

This year gave you ability to understand people, their nature, their choices, specially with the closer ones. People use people, People suck people, people take advantage of other people. People always treat you like an option when you give all of your time, priority and importance.
Maybe you took a long time to realize it but now you know where you’re and where you stand in their life. At times you feel helpless, at times you want to grab all sympathy. And in very next thought, you act like you are very strong and you don’t care anymore.

Finally, you realise that it was your fault and there is no point of blaming someone else. (which you never did) Everyone has their own priority list and you cannot force anyone to mark you as priority one.
And the same goes with you. Just because someone likes you or love you, doesn’t mean you’ll give all your attention to that person.

You realise that now you have no feelings and no emotions with the people you once adored.You desire to speak to no one.

All you want is to take a long long break untill you see yourself in that transition period where you say goodbye to all the people who have hurted you , backstapped you, made you to feel defeated, made you feel certain realisation, made you to understand your value in their life and look forward to new surroundings.

Those emotions, Those care, Those attachments that defined your sense of being as having importance no longer mean a thing. Totally nothing, you cannot stress this enough. So now, you just have to suffer and tolerate it through. 
Your thoughts are really deep, raging, echoing and roars but you’re silent. It keeps playing over in your mind, in your heart, in your blood and in your bones and in your entire soul. You always wanted to say all these things to someone, speak all those things you wished for but you accept that you could never say everything you wish to say.

It’s okay. It really feels like no one understands how it feels to be depressed, so this seems encouraging and discouraging at the same time. 

Now you understand that faking a smile is easier than explaining everything. 

SMILING IS BETTER THAN SHOWING YOUR SAD SIDE.

–Compiled And Composed πŸ™‚

Heart Talk–Overthinking!

It is one of those nights where you’re just sitting and thinking. 

Thinking about everything. About why everything is the way it is. And you think of every little detail which pricks your soul,till the memories take over and you to lose control. One step forward and two steps back,that is what this is infact.

Wondering about whether the sun would rise from another direction if you stayed happy for just a day. And that’s when you start to question yourself. Question why you are the way you are, question your existence. 
You try to remember and console yourself by reminding “Why you started?” But that  thought doesn’t help you to cope up your present  condition. You try to use all sort of tactics, to convince yourself , but you failed.

Compare everyone and everything around you, even though you know that isn’t right. You discuss with your closed ones, but you are not satisfied with their advise because their suggestions doesn’t match with the answers you were expecting from them. Obviously, because at that moment, when you had a sadist mindset , your thought process differs.

You think of every old mistake you made. You think of your past. And you feel that weird feeling in your throat where you want to start crying, but can’t. You think it might ease the pain, but it doesn’t. 
You start staying isolated.You carry the generous smile , with lot of outgoings hitting your head.And slowly, eventually, your mind takes over all your senses. It doesn’t make you feel better. It tells you how right you are about everything. 

And here’s the saddest part of it all. 
You start to believe it. Every bit of it. All over again.

-Compiled and Composed πŸ™‚