Heart Talk–Being Yourself!

We all have opinions about each one of us. We  do all possible gossiping about people around us and name it as “Sharing opinions”.

But as we are inching towards the end of 2017, I felt at times it’s good to isolate yourself. It’s good to take tough decision which might make situations easy for you.

There were times people got  scared by seeing how complete and happy I was in my own company. We think that it’s necessary to follow the rules set by people around us. We change our attitude to match there likes and dislikes.And we simply follow the crowd.

Trust me! It’s absolutely okay to comment when you look at cheesy couples. Mostly you simultaneously have two reactions: 90% of you get irritated seeing their cutie cute love story and the other 10% wonders how can any couple involve so much cheesiness in their life.
Well, in this world of match making where everyone is busy pairing each other. I feel it’s completely okay to say NO to someone with whom you’re not willing to ‘settle’ if they don’t deserve you. You’re somebody who is giving yourself time to figure out who the ‘I’ in the mirror is, before you can move to the complication of figuring out a ‘we’. 
Maybe you don’t want to attach strings right now, or maybe you’ve just cut them. Either way, it’s you now. It’s time for you to work on the greatest love story in the world: the one you have with yourself. To figure out what you love instead of who you love. To not share your pizza, fries, or chocolate. To not wait for anyone before watching the season finale. To take your book out on a date to a coffee house. To buy yourself that gorgeous pair of shoes.
There can be situations when you tend to take wrong decision because you were confused. You will be regretting for that one decision that you took. But in the end of all your thoughts, tears, time and regret, you will realize that you cannot undo it. You have to handle the situation further based on that one decision. And one day you will reach towards a point when you’ll be okay with everything. You will stop cribbing about little issues.Maybe you’ll learn to be neutral and give yourself little bit of time.

And yes, inspite of sharing your opinions about others, you know they will never change. Maybe they are wrong for you but that doesn’t mean they’re wrong for everyone.The way you hate someone, similarly you must be hated by others.And i can bet , you cannot do anything about it.(Personalexperience)At times you’ll realize that few people speak to you sweetly or are in your favor just because they don’t want to make you feel bad.Well, that doesn’t means you’re important to them. Maybe they do it out of courtesy or out of any guilt.

So , you need to know what’s more important to you in your life rather than wasting time thinking, “Are you important to someone or not?”And the day you’ll stop peeping into other’s life and start thinking about yours, maybe you won’t have any more regrets for yourself.

The entire world is yours to conquer- and when you wake up in the morning with a smile on your face, singing a duet in the shower by yourself- something tells me you do conquer it. With tiny but firm steps, each day.Beginnings can be tough for you to forget certain things but you have to be strong enough to ignore them.Because each day counts.

So RustedLeavesWriter says, “Be yourself and embrace yourself for your own good instead of charming others.”

Happy 2018 🙂

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Heart Talk–TinyTales

#Smudge

Between all the laughter and fun,

She smiled at the party.
But her smudged kajal told a different story.

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#Call 

They both stayed under one roof,
Still from another city , she had to call seperately on any occasion.
And all of sudden, she started wondering why she had to call “Her Parents” twice .

*************************************

#Alive

As a writer, they write the words.
The paper feels the words.
But, the reader makes the word come alive.

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#E-mail

Be a such kind of person, that if someone blocks you from all the social media applications, you drop an “E-MAIL” to retain your bond.

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#Simple

We meet many people in our life,
But few are simple like Quantum Physics.
Irony plays a major role.

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#Coffee

Infinite cups of coffee to stay awake so that she can complete her work was merely an excuse she gave.
There were spaces left to be filled in the story.

*************************************

#Page

And he said, “so we are on same page.”
“Page? We are not even in same book,” She thought.
And reality was, they were not even in same library.

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#Answers

After thinking so much,
It was decided to ignore many truths, many unanswered questions.
Because it’s okay not to know all the answers.

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#Years

Years ago they broke with wrong person,
And today they’re with right ones.

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Heart Talk–Experience !

When you try to sum up all that you felt this year.

Maybe your heart was aching and you were falling down.

Fall and rise, was the mantra you were following. So much has happened in this year. This year held most of the happiest and saddest experience you must have ever had in your life.

This year gave you ability to understand people, their nature, their choices, specially with the closer ones. People use people, People suck people, people take advantage of other people. People always treat you like an option when you give all of your time, priority and importance.
Maybe you took a long time to realize it but now you know where you’re and where you stand in their life. At times you feel helpless, at times you want to grab all sympathy. And in very next thought, you act like you are very strong and you don’t care anymore.

Finally, you realise that it was your fault and there is no point of blaming someone else. (which you never did) Everyone has their own priority list and you cannot force anyone to mark you as priority one.
And the same goes with you. Just because someone likes you or love you, doesn’t mean you’ll give all your attention to that person.

You realise that now you have no feelings and no emotions with the people you once adored.You desire to speak to no one.

All you want is to take a long long break untill you see yourself in that transition period where you say goodbye to all the people who have hurted you , backstapped you, made you to feel defeated, made you feel certain realisation, made you to understand your value in their life and look forward to new surroundings.

Those emotions, Those care, Those attachments that defined your sense of being as having importance no longer mean a thing. Totally nothing, you cannot stress this enough. So now, you just have to suffer and tolerate it through. 
Your thoughts are really deep, raging, echoing and roars but you’re silent. It keeps playing over in your mind, in your heart, in your blood and in your bones and in your entire soul. You always wanted to say all these things to someone, speak all those things you wished for but you accept that you could never say everything you wish to say.

It’s okay. It really feels like no one understands how it feels to be depressed, so this seems encouraging and discouraging at the same time. 

Now you understand that faking a smile is easier than explaining everything. 

SMILING IS BETTER THAN SHOWING YOUR SAD SIDE.

–Compiled And Composed 🙂

Heart Talk–Overthinking!

It is one of those nights where you’re just sitting and thinking. 

Thinking about everything. About why everything is the way it is. And you think of every little detail which pricks your soul,till the memories take over and you to lose control. One step forward and two steps back,that is what this is infact.

Wondering about whether the sun would rise from another direction if you stayed happy for just a day. And that’s when you start to question yourself. Question why you are the way you are, question your existence. 
You try to remember and console yourself by reminding “Why you started?” But that  thought doesn’t help you to cope up your present  condition. You try to use all sort of tactics, to convince yourself , but you failed.

Compare everyone and everything around you, even though you know that isn’t right. You discuss with your closed ones, but you are not satisfied with their advise because their suggestions doesn’t match with the answers you were expecting from them. Obviously, because at that moment, when you had a sadist mindset , your thought process differs.

You think of every old mistake you made. You think of your past. And you feel that weird feeling in your throat where you want to start crying, but can’t. You think it might ease the pain, but it doesn’t. 
You start staying isolated.You carry the generous smile , with lot of outgoings hitting your head.And slowly, eventually, your mind takes over all your senses. It doesn’t make you feel better. It tells you how right you are about everything. 

And here’s the saddest part of it all. 
You start to believe it. Every bit of it. All over again.

-Compiled and Composed 🙂 

And Here we complete 365 days!

The day was cold, and dark, and dreary,

It rained, and the wind was never weary.

I still remember how all of us reached MTP for induction,

We struggled to follow initial instructions.

And then we reached for another session,

At EGL tech park with new passion.

Same lectures, but different faces,

We stared each other with a doubtful smile but with grace.

The training days were best in itself,

We enjoyed each day among ourselves.

The merger of another batch to all our initial days fight,

With the time, the bond became strong and goals were set right.

From being hated, to being loved,

We met people who have become our beloved.

Mock calls, break up’s , patch up’s were part of these days,

For any situation, we had one or the other way.

Cheers to the sudden trip for colleagues wedding,(Suja N pattar)

Getting lost on roads and don’t know where we were heading.

The celebration of Christmas, to getting divided into different shifts,

Made us realise first lesson of corporate life with major rift.

From working weekends to reducing count of backlog,

Leaving for team trip in early morning in fog.

The farewell of our dear ones to entry of new people,

Our journey cannot have any sequel.

The initial hard day’s on production floor,

The excellent support from our managers , team leads, and tenure folks , which I still adore.

The days of amazing laughter, to days of tears,

Made us a strong person with less fears.

The days of never ending chit chat to days of silence,

Work life would have become tough without you all’s guidance.

From infinite cake cutting to cirrus party,

Getting high on beer and Bacardi .

Having infinite issues with other team,

Hating them has become our habit it seems.

The long wait for Friday fun,

The happy look when our shift time is done.

The hard work for pot luck,

Getting recognition gives feel of awsomestruck.

The mutual friendship with DOW process,

And exceeding our breaks makes us feel depress.

From house parties to team trips,

At times we swimmed, at times we sailed on AECOM ship. (I know quite a cheesy line)

There were differences, there were ignorance,

There was love, there was hatred,

But in the end we stood up together because our team bond is sacred.

So far a learning, inspiring, roller coaster journey , I must say,

With a hope that each one of us achieve success some or the other day.

Click here👇

journey
Cheers to our 365 days and counting… 😍

Heart Talk!

There are times when you think “Discussing” things will help you,

There are times when you feel ignoring few conversation is better,
There are times when you take decisions because the other person wants you to do so,
There are times when you have guilt about your own decisions,

And then you sit and think , think and think, “Did I took right decision?”

It might be a small discussion or a decision for others,
But you might be emotionally attached to that situation.

At times we feel happy, at times sad,

Many times confused which make conditions bad .

Not able to decide your own deeds,

Scrolling through Instagram, WhatsApp and Facebook news feed.

Then maybe we decide to stay with  silence and a bit of smile,
That help us to cross our day with a bigger mile.

At times in order to act strong, be practical , makes you stone hearted and you finally decide something,

But for days you keep on thinking about your decision wondering were you right or wrong?

We All Grew Up!

Somewhere between—-

Believing in happy endings and accepting the reality, 
Leaving someone for our happiness to leaving someone for their happiness,
Sharing secrets to hiding truths,
Talking our heart loud to being silent,
From cornflake to goldflake,
From counting days to leave home and live alone to counting days left to go home,
Crying out loud just to get what we want to holding our tears even when we are broken inside,
Playing with toys to playing with someone’s emotion,
From ‘See you in playground’ to ‘See you online’,
From broken pencils to broken dreams,
Staying like a carefree person to  start wondering about consequences,
From just 5 more mins mom to hitting snooze button,
Between I want to talk to you to I need to get over you,
From being too emotional to trying to become emotionless,
From bedtime stories to WhatsApp stories,
From heartbreaks to ‘I don’t care anymore’,
WE ALL GREW UP!

S.M.O.K.E

Addiction

His friends asked several questions from him , 

“How can you quit smoking all of sudden?”

“Is it because of her?”

And his only reply was, “Bro, you can only handle one addiction at a time and this time it’s HER ”               

Reply

“Smoking kills”, Her parents said.

“Expectations kills more,” was her reply.

Story

Each one of us has a story.

Some are good narrators and others are just good actors.

Some try to face their story while others try to hide it in smoke.

Burned

And he burned himself twice.

Firstly by getting lost in her thoughts and secondly by smoking the cigarette in the exact spot.

Reason

Every chain smoker has a story so before you tell them smoking kills , you should know that there is something which is already killing them.

There is a reason behind our each action.

Thus, RustedLeavesWriter feels, smoking is bad but the reason they smoke is worse.

Heart Talk!!

We all have been so trapped with all the social mazes, which is created by us, that we have lost our own way. It has become a pathway that restrict us to talk about EXACTLY what’s going on inside us.
We are so afraid to get hurt. We are so afraid of pain. And that’s exactly why we push away from anything that kicks us off our comfort.
People in love are scared to express  their love, while others are still struggling to choose career according to their choice.

Extramarital affairs are still considered as a crime even if the couple doesn’t have any issue. Engineers and Doctors are still considered as great.
We have given so much right to these social mazes that we get scared to take any decision because of society and it’s rules.
The only thing we should care about is comfort. Because I feel self comfort is something which we should keep in mind.
If you’re comfortable with someone’s company–Stick there.Because anyways even if you leave also thinking “what others will think?” , Stories will be circulated . Same way, if you’re happy with your career as an artist–Keep up your good work. Because society won’t pay your bills.

The only reason behind this blog is don’t let anyone else make a choice for you. So there is no need of getting inspired by anyone’s word not even this  “blog.”
Your brain has got enough senses to decide “What’s good for you?” Rather than paying attention to, “Which choice of yours will make others happy?”.

Few may call this statement as “being selfish” but I feel it’s okay to be selfish to such extent that it shouldn’t harm someone else because of you.
“No matter you do good or bad,

No matter you’re surrounded with bunch of creepy werido’s or positive people,

There is a ‘STORY’ for everything.”

So make sure you enjoy that story of yourself and move on according to your choices!!

Disjoint Letters!

Her parents compared her with disjoint letters of alphabet,

Her dad said, he has lost his daughter in smoke of cigarette.

 

Together they appear like a happy family with extreme understanding,

But in reality her parents felt their bond is bending.
For her mom, their relationship is like, “MOM, DAD and S-H-E,”

They were shocked that she has touched the level of “Being emotionless” to infinity.
And somewhere she felt that her parents are about to dig in her life,

She started to fake her normal behavior to break the ice.
She  didn’t know if she was depressed or just sad about something,

Or maybe she was scared to face what next life brings.
She didn’t know if she started feeling like a helpless person or she was in mode of guilt,

But somewhere deep inside she blames herself for few stupidity because of which all these situations are built.
She still have strong faith on herself that one day maybe she will laugh on her deeds,

But right now she felt defeated as her parents were able to find reasons and seeds.
She could sense that more than getting angry, they were tensed,

And she assured them that she will never let herself bend.
They know she won’t admit in front of them,

Because for her , Her success and problems are both precious to her like gem.

They understood all she needs is some time in her life to sort herself,

Because they know she will join the letters of alphabets like an elf.